I do….or, do I? Pre-Wedding Jitters are very common and most brides (and grooms) start to get worried if they are making the right decision! We are all familiar with the term “cold feet….a feeling of worry or doubt that is strong enough to stop you from doing something that you planned to do”. Following your instinct is good; but before you cancel the caterer and hop on the next plane out of town, take a few moments to find out what is making you so anxious.
Are you freaking out because it might rain, the food will be cold, or something more substantial like questioning whether you will be a good wife or husband and whether you can stay committed for life?
Your new marriage is not doomed because you have “cold feet”, you just need to figure out what is causing your anxiety. Many nervous brides are bombarded by people constantly asking them about their plans and saying, “Are you nervous about the Big Day?”. With all these constant questions, it is no wonder a calm, under control bride becomes anxious. Is there a serious issue or just society making you feel like you should be nervous?
If you are starting to feel anxious about your upcoming wedding, take a deep breath and evaluate what is causing these jitters. Left unaddressed, these little jitters will become stronger and stronger and can even lead to physical symptoms such as difficulty sleeping or even stomach issues. If your anxiety goes beyond some of the following common causes, sit down with your fiancé or a counselor before saying, “I do”.
Rain, Rain, Go Away! Unless your name is Mother Nature, you have no control of what the weather will be on your wedding day. Constantly checking the weather adds unnecessary stress to your wedding planning. Set the date and make a plan for any adjustments in case of rain. Address this once and move on.
Photographers, The DJ/Band, The Florist, The Reception Venue…You are relying on so many other people to pull off this big event! The worries associated with everyone doing their job according to your plans are probably at the top of your list! Be sure to book professionals who have wedding experience and leave the details in their capable hands. When it comes to the Wedding Reception, using an experienced caterer to handle all the details should put you at ease. Meet with the Wedding Coordinator at the Venue well in advance to discuss your vision, ask questions, and get a signed contract to confirm date and pricing.
Money, Money, Money! Nothing is more stressful than blowing the wedding budget you initially set! When setting your budget, be realistic. Don’t set a budget of $200 for flowers if your choices will end up costing you $2,000. Research costs from local vendors before determining your budget. Once you have come up with the budget, add 20% to cover unexpected expenses and then stick closely to that budget. Don’t let money worries consume your day. This is a day for you and your spouse to celebrate with friends and family….blowing your budget will only lead to continued post wedding stress.
Does This Dress Make Me Look Fat? Most women have the subconscious worry about
their body type and how their wedding dress looks on them. They wonder, should I have dieted more? Chosen a Different Style? Exercised More? The questions can go on and on; but keep in mind, your fiancé is marrying you for you, not because of how you look in your wedding gown!
In Laws, Out Laws and Everyone in Between! Celebrating your day with family is one of the most important things you can do. Nevertheless, it can also be one of the most stressful parts of your wedding. Relatives wanting their “little darling” to be part of your bridal party can be a difficult situation to deal with. To ensure an enjoyable day, lay out your wedding plans to family members, explaining that you would love to include everyone as part of your bridal party; but unfortunately, it’s just not possible. Family needs to be understanding and be on their best behavior for your day! In the case of divorced parents, make your day run smoothly by meeting with family members in advance and discussing who they are sitting with and what pictures you would like taken together. Get everyone on the same page in order to eliminate wedding day chaos!
Who Me? The Center of Attention? It is “your day”. However, the stress of being the center of attention can be overwhelming, especially when it comes time to say your vows. If being showered with attention all day makes you uncomfortable, keep in mind you are surrounded by family and friends…the people who know you best. With the support of your spouse and having them share 50% of the attention, relax and enjoy.
Running out of “tomorrow’s” – Procrastination can be the down fall of being calm for your wedding day. Many weddings are planned over a year in advance so there is plenty of time to get things done. Make a list of “to do’s” with reasonable deadlines, delegate where necessary, and get moving on that list!
Absolutely Perfect! Every bride and groom want the Perfect Day, but life happens and things don’t always go according to plan. Eliminate unnecessary stress by taking the word “perfect” out of your vocabulary. Plan to the best of your ability and go with it…enjoy the day and remember, the focus is on celebrating the beginning of your new life together!
Still have “cold feet” about your wedding? Maybe you just need a warmer pair of socks!
Information adapted from: Brides.com and PsychCentral.com